The Language Of Communication

The other day I conducted a workshop with an associate of mine. He offered a compelling section on the three different ways people communicate - visual, auditory, kinesthetic. The premise was that you can tell instantly which way a person communicates so you can mirror them and make a connection.

Over the years, I've heard a lot about mirroring. It's considered a useful technique in sales and job seeking. Interestingly, I've found it to be tremendously hard. When you mirror someone with a different style from your own, your behavior is unnatural for you. I submit that your focus is also altered, making it more difficult to connect instead of easier.

The value I've found in this knowledge is that I can tell almost immediately if the person I'm meeting is someone I'll continue to have a relationship with. If it's someone who communicates the same way I do, we connect. We'll do business together, build a friendship, network well together, or collaborate. In some way, we'll stay connected. Remember, people do business with people they know, like and trust. It's hard to establish that depth with someone you when you can't communicate effectively with them.

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